Out of Office (But Still Checking Email): The Lawyer’s Guide to Taking a Break That Actually Counts

You’ve written the out-of-office reply. You’ve technically started your time off. And yet, there you are, responding to “quick questions” from clients on your phone and checking your inbox “just in case.”

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Most attorneys don’t know how to actually take a break. The guilt kicks in before the vacation even starts.

Why Rest Feels Impossible

Law trains you to anticipate disaster. That skill helps you excel in court and with clients, but it also makes it hard to trust that the world won’t fall apart without you. You spend so much energy preventing worst-case scenarios that silence starts to feel suspicious.

Add in firm culture, the subtle judgment around “commitment” and “availability,” and it’s no wonder time off feels like a test. You’re supposed to rest, but you’d better still answer your phone.

For lawyers, rest feels risky. You’ve built a career on being responsive, thorough, and dependable. So when you try to disconnect, part of you panics. The same mindset that made you great at your job also makes it hard to stop working.

The Myth of “Catching Up”

Many lawyers treat vacation as “time to get organized.” You bring reading, backlog work, or admin tasks, telling yourself it’ll help you feel lighter later. But what actually happens? You stay in work mode, just from a prettier location.

The truth is there’s no finish line that magically earns you rest. If you wait for your workload to shrink before taking time off, you’ll wait forever. The work will always expand to fill the time you give it.

If that realization makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay. You’re not doing it wrong. You’ve just been taught that your value lies in being productive. Therapy can help you unlearn that equation and build a version of rest that doesn’t trigger guilt every time you reach for it.

What Rest Really Means

Rest doesn’t have to look like nothing. It’s about doing things that replenish you instead of drain you. That might mean walking outside without checking your phone, taking lunch away from your desk, or spending time on something that doesn’t involve winning or proving anything.

Rest can also look like saying, “I’ll respond to that on Monday,” and trusting that it will still be there.

If you’re skeptical that this matters, think about your last break. Did you come back rested or just relocated exhaustion?

The Lawyer Logic Reframe

Lawyers love logic, so here’s one that might help: your brain works better when it’s not constantly in fight-or-flight mode. Short, protected breaks improve focus, judgment, and emotional regulation, all of which make you better at your job.

Rest isn’t indulgence. It’s maintenance. And if you find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t need this,” that’s the fatigue talking, not the truth.

Where Therapy Fits In

Therapy isn’t about convincing you to quit or take month-long sabbaticals. It’s about finding ways to make small resets possible within the world you already live in. A therapist who understands lawyer life can help you:

• Set boundaries that work even in demanding environments

• Manage guilt around taking time off

• Learn how to rest without feeling like you’re falling behind

You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel better. You just need a place where you can stop performing long enough to ask, “What do I actually need right now?”

Your Permission Slip

If you need someone to tell you it’s okay to log off, consider this. Your out-of-office reply is not an invitation to “just one quick call.” It’s a boundary.

Start small. Step away for an hour. Turn off notifications after dinner. Take one quiet moment before you jump back in.

And if you realize you don’t remember how to rest at all, that’s not failure. That’s a sign you’re overdue for help that goes deeper than another “time management” tip.

Download The Lawyer’s Reset Kit: How to Step Back Without Falling Behind for quick, realistic tools to start reclaiming your bandwidth. Or if you’re ready for more support, therapy can help you find a version of balance that actually lasts.