The Season of Shoulds: When Every “Take Time to Rest” Post Makes You Want to Scream

It’s that time of year again. Everywhere you look, people are posting about rest, joy, and “soaking up the season.” Your inbox is full of well-meaning reminders to slow down, savor the holidays, and practice gratitude.

You would love to. But you are also the one juggling client deadlines, year-end billing targets, and a pile of work that will not magically disappear just because your out-of-office message says you are “unavailable.”

So when you see another post that says, “Take time for yourself!” you do not feel inspired. You feel irritated. Rest sounds great in theory. In practice, it feels like one more thing you are failing to do.

The Season of Shoulds

This time of year comes with invisible pressure. You should rest. You should be joyful. You should spend time with family and feel grateful for what you have. You should love the holidays.

But what if you are too tired to love them? What if you are just trying to get through them?

Lawyers are experts at showing up no matter how they feel. You hit deadlines, carry the weight, and keep going even when you are running on fumes. When the holidays hit, you are expected to keep up the same pace, only this time with a smile.

It is a strange contradiction. Everyone around you says “slow down,” but the system you work in never stops. So you do the next best thing. You push through and tell yourself you will rest in January. (You probably will not. January has its own chaos.)

When Joy Feels Like Another Obligation

If you are feeling anxious, resentful, or just flat this season, that does not mean you are ungrateful. It means you are human. The same drive that makes you a great lawyer also makes it hard to pause. When your value is measured in billable hours, stepping away can feel like losing control.

But here is the truth: you cannot outwork exhaustion. And trying to “earn” rest by finishing everything first is like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

Maybe this year is not about transforming your stress into joy. Maybe it is about lowering the bar. Taking one thing off your plate. Saying no to the holiday happy hour you do not actually want to attend. Leaving your laptop closed for an evening, even if the work will still be there tomorrow.

Small steps still count.

When Slowing Down Feels Impossible

Therapy is not about teaching you to be zen while the world burns around you. It is about helping you find small, realistic ways to make space for yourself, even in systems that reward constant output.

As a former attorney turned therapist for attorneys, I understand the mental math that happens when you even consider slowing down. I know the guilt that creeps in when you rest for an hour instead of billing one. That is why the goal is not to overhaul your life overnight. The goal is to find what is doable right now.

If slowing down feels impossible, The Lawyer’s Reset Kit will help you start small.

Download The Lawyer’s Reset Kit: How to Step Back Without Falling Behind