There is a specific kind of sleep complaint I hear more than any other, and it almost always comes with the same disclaimer. "I don’t have trouble falling asleep. I’m out in five minutes. It’s just that I wake up at 3 a.m."

People say this apologetically, as though it disqualifies them from having a real sleep problem. It doesn’t. It might be insomnia and it’s not uncommon with my clients. It also has a specific explanation, which I want to walk through, because once you understand what’s happening at 3 a.m., the whole thing becomes less mysterious and considerably less frightening.

High-functioning anxiety gets missed for a simple reason: every symptom is also a job skill.

Rereading the email four times is thoroughness. Running through the worst version of the meeting the night before is preparation. Checking the document after you already checked it is diligence. Asking a colleague whether something is fine, and then asking a second colleague, is collaboration. None of it looks like a problem, and most of it gets you promoted.

I’d like to describe what depression treatment actually consists of, because I think the vagueness around it does real harm. When you don’t know what happens in the room, “you should probably talk to someone” sounds like a vague instruction to feel better, and vague instructions are extraordinarily easy to postpone. So here is the specific version, including what I’ll ask you and what we’ll do.

You're not going to find this in a bar prep course. Nobody warned you that one day you'd be sitting in your car in a parking garage, legal pad on the passenger seat, inbox already at 47 unread, wondering how you got here and whether you can get out.

You haven't told anyone. Maybe you've hinted at it with a partner or a friend, but you walked it back fast. You're fine. It's just a rough quarter. You like the work. Mostly.

But here you are, Googling "therapy for lawyers leaving the law" at 11pm, which means some part of you is done pretending.

Good. That part is right.alone. Many attorneys hit this point quietly, without a clear explanation for why.

This isn’t a lack of gratitude or ambition. It is often a sign that something deeper is out of alignment.