You’re Not Bad at Rest. You Were Just Never Allowed to Need It

If rest feels uncomfortable, unproductive, or oddly stressful, it is easy to assume you are doing it wrong.

You tell yourself you should be able to relax. Other people seem to manage it just fine. They take breaks, unplug, and come back refreshed. Meanwhile, when you finally stop working, your mind keeps going. You feel restless. Guilty. On edge. Sometimes even more exhausted than before.

For many lawyers, this leads to a familiar conclusion. I must be bad at rest.

But what if that isn’t the problem at all?

When Rest Was Never an Option

Most attorneys were never taught how to rest. They were taught how to perform.

From early on, success was tied to pushing through. Staying up later. Taking on more. Proving you could handle pressure without complaint. Needing rest was framed as weakness or inefficiency, something to outgrow once you became more disciplined.

Over time, this shapes your nervous system. You learn to stay alert, responsive, and productive even when you are depleted. You learn to ignore early signs of stress because stopping never felt like an option.

This is why so many high-achieving lawyers experience intense lawyer stress even when they are technically off. Your body doesn’t recognize rest as safe. It recognizes momentum.

Burnout Is Not a Motivation Problem

Burnout recovery is often framed as a mindset shift. Take time off. Practice self-care. Get better at work-life balance.

For overachievers, this advice can feel frustrating or even shaming. You don’t lack motivation. You aren’t lazy. You aren’t failing to try hard enough.

What you are experiencing is often nervous system burnout.

When stress has been chronic, your body stays in a state of high alert. Even quiet moments can feel uncomfortable. Your mind scans for problems. Your shoulders stay tense. Fully letting go feels unfamiliar or risky.

This is why rest can feel harder than work. Work is familiar. Rest is not.

Why Overachievers Struggle to Slow Down

Many lawyers who struggle with burnout are deeply capable. They are used to being the reliable one. The person who holds things together. The one who doesn’t need much.

Over time, this creates overachiever burnout. You keep functioning, but at a cost. Sleep is lighter. Irritability creeps in. Joy feels muted. Everything takes more effort than it used to.

You might notice that even when you want to slow down, something inside resists. You feel anxious when you aren’t productive. You judge yourself for needing breaks. You promise yourself you will rest later, after this deadline, after this case, after things calm down.

Later keeps moving.

What Therapy Actually Helps With

This is where Individual Therapy for Attorneys can be helpful in a way that advice alone often is not.

Therapy isn’t about convincing you to care less about your work. It’s about helping your nervous system learn that rest is allowed and safe.

In therapy, many attorneys work on:

• understanding how stress has shaped their nervous system

• noticing early signs of overload instead of pushing past them

• building tolerance for rest without guilt

• creating boundaries that feel realistic within demanding careers

This kind of support helps address work stress lawyers experience at its root, rather than treating burnout like a personal failure.

If you’re interested, you can learn more about working together here: About Yael

A Gentler Place to Begin

If therapy feels like too big a step right now, you can still start shifting how your body relates to rest.

Small changes matter. Pausing for a few minutes. Letting yourself stop before you are completely depleted. Noticing when you push past your limits out of habit rather than necessity.

This is why I created The Lawyer’s Reset Kit. It’s designed to help you slow down in ways that don’t trigger panic or self-criticism, especially if rest has always felt earned rather than allowed.

If you’re interested in how these patterns show up more broadly, you may also find this helpful: When Being the “Responsible One” Starts to Break You

You Were Never Broken

If rest has never come easily, it does not mean you are doing it wrong. It often means you were never allowed to need it.

Burnout isn’t a character flaw. It’s a predictable response to long-term stress in systems that reward overfunctioning.

You’re allowed to need rest without justifying it. You’re allowed to slow down without losing your edge. And you don’t have to figure out how to do that alone.

If and when you are ready, support is available.